Thoughts on race...

Nothing light for this post...but I've been thinking, more than normal, about racial reconciliation recently. And wishing it was a nice little issue we could box up the solution to and wrap it with a bow. But it's not. And being an educator in the inner-city, as well as living in a neighborhood with one other white person besides Micah and myself, well, it isn't something I can just put on the backburner.

I am not faced with awful situations every day. I don't regularly condemn people different than myself and, minus a few instances my second year teaching, don't really have people take notice of my pasty complexion.

But I was recently talking to a white man from South Africa and he made the comment, "70% of adoptions fail." Which had me thinking because, before Baby Bell, Micah and I planned on adoption. We still continue to plan on adopting (one or both of us are getting "fixed"). And while I have seen adoption adjustment be a struggle, I haven't really seen it "fail."

So that started the race dialogue in my head. It was escalated the other day by something that happened while I was driving. Then I read an article on www.theblackcritic.com, "Am I racist?", that kind of hit home.

Is racism to be expected in each person? How do we combat it? Is it something that we can ever rid ourselves of? Or will we let the various people who fit stereotypes continually feed into our expectation of race?

Here is what I do know, from my observations.

Ignoring race and ethnicity is not in the best interest of the child.
It is not effective to pretend to be something you are not.
Skin color does not equal life experience.
Socio-economic status seems to play an equal role in societal expectations, and a larger role in educational expectations.
I cannot beat myself up for being a white, female teacher in an inner-city school. (and minus about 4 students, my whiteness has had little affect on my influence.)
I don't know what it is to physically be a minority, so I can't empathize.

peace.

Christmas Recap

Micah and I started Christmas last weekend. We braved the northern Indiana ice storm and went to my sister's Friday night bearing Hot Box Pizza breadsticks. Saturday we spent with Ma and Pa Bell eating wonderful food, experiencing great company and conversation, opening blessed presents, and laughing hysterically while playing euchre (Micah and I dominated 2 of 3 games...woot).

Sunday we took a drive to admire the ice storm, got coffee at Micah's favorite coffee place in the Fort, played video games with Cassie and Trevor, went on a date for lunch, the visited with my family for Christmas. Again we had great company...I love my sisters, got to see the newest niece, and just got to "be" with my side of the family. We were blessed abundantly through food, gifts, and conversation.

Yesterday we got to have our very own special Christmas. It is the only one we will have to focus on each other. So we did just that (minus the trip to pick up our escape artist), we had the world famous Schaab Christmas breakfast, opened presents for Christmas, had snacks, opened Micah's birthday presents, ate lunch and cake, watched Ironman, and had pizza for dinner. The gifts we each received were a mixed of "necessities" (each of us functions off of 4-5 work shirts and don't always keep up on the laundry well enough) as well as blessings.

I really love to bake and cook, so Micah got me some fancy schmancy kitchen stuff (I got the sifter I asked for) as well as the Buffy Season 8 comics and the Decemberists vinyl singles. I got Micah a few movies, Settlers of Catan, some lounging pants, and Ron Paul's manifesto.

I had a moment during the day where I realized I hadn't really taken the time to reflect on Jesus. I also realized that I wrote about the exact same ocurrence last year. And I even think I came to the same conclusion...

Jesus should be central in every moment of this life. Most days, He is. Some days He ranks right with doing the dishes in the aspect of maintaining my relationship with Him. But for the most part, He is the reason for this life and my pursuit of attempting to live as He calls us to.

It's the every day living that gets tangled for me...how do I react the person who cuts me off on my 5 block drive to work? Does the class that constantly tests my patience know that I'm really trying to love them? Am I supposed to work once Baby Bell comes? Am I OK if Micah stays home with the baby? We live fairly minimally as is, but am I OK letting the people we support know that we may have to cut their support so one of us can stay home with Baby? Is my family really my first ministry? If they are, why do I feel guilty about that?

You know, simple things...like how to live like Jesus.

So, I take December 25th to enjoy the blessings He has given...my family and my husband. A few gifts and a great meal. Time spent together. And I trust God still loves me-even if I forget to read Luke 2.

peace&love.

Shameless Plug

After tears from 4 eyes and whining from Elmer, Inu is home! We got a call from HomeAgain around 10:45 this morning telling us she had been found... :)

HomeAgain is the company who microchipped Inu. When she was gone for more than an hour last night, I posted that she was lost to their website. They then sent out an e mail to all the people in their network withing 10 miles of our zipcode. A very nice woman and her husband were going to be coming into our zipcode to visit family this morning, so they printed off the HomeAgain e mail with Inu's info for their trip. Alas,they saw her on their way to family, called HomeAgain, and were transfered to us!

She was gone for 15 hours and made it about a mile in that time. She was happy to see us and is currently snoozing. My guess is that she is exhausted!

So, it pays to get your pets microchipped...but most importantly, it pays to know lots of people who understand the bond between animals and owners and pray you through losing one...

God is good, undeservedly so. We never knew how important she was to us until she was gone.

Merry Christmas! (And to Micah, Happy Birthday!)

Inu is lost

Please pray for her safe return. :(

SURPRISE!

It's 4:15 on Friday, December 19th...yesterday was the last day with students and today was a teacher "records day." Though I like to think of it more as a catch up with the other teachers in the building kind of day. Most teachers don't risk the danger of overloading the system on the last day possible to do grades, so we are done with grades and therefore have nothing to do on "records day." Though I did pick up the front of my classroom. (I was going to clean the whole room, but realized I have students who really like to organize the instruments and untangle the scarves and ribbons...so why should I do that myself when I can be chatting with a variety of pretty cool people?)

To quote the Counting Crows, "It's been a long December..." For lots of reasons it has been an extraordinarily challenging year, obviously (from the point of this blog) it has been amazing and incredibly blessed as well, but challenging none the less. Becoming one flesh comes with many side effects-both beautiful and requiring sacrifice and hard work.

On December 23, 2007 Micah and I saw each other for the first time since 1999. On December 23, 2008 we will not only have been married for 5 months, 18 days but we will also be 10 weeks 2 days pregnant.

It's true...most of you who read this already know...but we are pregnant.

God pretty much rocks our socks.

Not because we have been praying for this to happen or because we were planning it.

Baby Bell is not an answer to prayer...in fact, we had asked people to pray the exact opposite.

Baby Bell is a blessing because God certainly hears the mumblings and desires of our hearts when we don't even realize what we truly desire. Micah and I agreed before we dated that we both desperately wanted to be parents. But we also wanted to be married for a while before that process even happened.

But now that we are pregnant, we cherish "holding" baby Bell at bedtime as well as whispering good morning to baby. Though Micah is much better at whispering to my belly than I am.

So, I'm ready for winter break...and so is baby Bell. We hope to have lots of quality time staying warm in blankets together and baby will be the best company ever while I finally get to writing all the thank you notes from the wedding. Call me modern, but last I heard we had a year to get them out...my hope is to have them in the mail before 2009.

It is a little premature, but here's hoping to a little more calm start to 2009 and just as happy as an ending!

peace.

The many faces of Inu

Thankful

A little late...but better late than never!

About a year ago, Micah "friended" me on facebook.

Lots can happen in a year.

I love being married. Micah loves being married too. We highly recommend it to those who are called into marriage.

God is good, all the time.

I am thankful for my ENTIRE family-the Shepherds, the Schaabs, the Wiedenhoefts, the Bells, and the Davidsons. Even though I'm really bad at staying in contact, they are a really amazing and wonderful family to have.

Sometimes, I am thankful for my dogs.

I am thankful for my students. They pretty much rock and give my lots of really great stories to tell.

I am thankful for Love.

And I still hope for peace.