nesting

Things have been getting around the past month in the Bell household. Micah and I are continuing to enjoy just being the two of us (plus Inu and Elmer) while looking forward to soon being a family of 3 + 2. :)

I have started measuring "on" and am officially 32 weeks! Which means that July 20th due date is looking pretty steady. I am anxious to no longer be pregnant, while appreciative of the time we will have before Miss Bell is born.

On a more serious note, at our doctor's appointment 2 weeks ago Micah and I made the decision together that I should go on an anti-depressant. It was a very personal decision that I am happy to discuss and that we both (along with both of the doctors involved) are grateful for. It has been enormously helpful for our marriage and alone time, as well as having taken off some of the anxiety I was feeling towards the actual time after Miss Bell is born.

Two weeks in the meds have started to kick in a little, which is always nice for the last few days of school. Which, by the way, my last official day with kids is Friday! Can I get a "woot woot?!?!??!?!"

Other than all that, we had a very nice long weekend after a very busy last week. We slept lots, finished season 4.0 of Battlestar Galactica, did churchy things, had dinner with friends, and went to IKEA yesterday. We got the last piece of furniture for Miss Bell's room as well as a few pieces for our new "den." IKEA was also having a big sale on our favorite series, Expedit, and we got 2 new piece of Expedit for $40 off each! Which was very exciting.

On the dog front, Inu had some misfortune today which ended in an emergency vet visit. But all is well, other than a sore bum. I have never heard her really "cry" before, and man, after seeing Micah run to her side, I have no doubt that he will be the most protecting, providing, and loving father. If he is so gentle and caring towards our dog, I can only imagine the love he will lavish on our child(ren).

We have also decided that we need to budget a little more for veterinary care for the dogs. Some things you just learn the hard way.

As for summer break, I have decided to make a "to-do" list for the time before we deliver Miss Bell. It will be filled with things like "organize spices" and "sort through cloths" and "make a goal outfit for once you've lost the 40 pounds you've gained" and "clean the floorboards" and "spray for ants" and "wash all 14 loads of Miss Bell's clothes." You know, fun things like that.

If you've made it this far, I have a fun story for you. :)

Today, while Dr. Cleary was listening to Miss Bell's heart, she punched the doppler twice. :) His response was, "Geez, she's active!" :)

peace&love.

slacker

I'm a slacker. Fo' sho', my friends.

I have this gigantic portfolio thing due Friday and I haven't really started it yet.

The trash cans are down by the street and I'm perfectly capable of pulling them up the driveway, but didn't really feel like it.

I did have the dishes, then put the rest in "to soak" 24 hours ago and they are still there.

I pulled all the clean clothes out of two laundry baskets (3 loads) and piled them on the bed this morning to find a pair of undies that fit to wear today. There is no body part that is going unchanged as Miss Bell (and my bum) grow. I was tired after work today, so I just pushed all 3 loads of clothes over to Micah's side of the bed so I had room to rest.

And it's been over a week since our last doctor's appointment and I have yet to really share any of this information.

Miss Bell has been continuously measuring 2 weeks ahead. I am unsure if 1) she is actually 31 weeks developed and not 29 like we though, 2) the insulation on my belly is causing an extra inch or two in the tape measure, or 3) she is just hugemongous. It's anybody's guess. Though the weight I've gained has me leaning towards option 2.

And I do have to say that it does not make me feel any better when the custodian at work touches my stomach and says, "Shouldn't your stomach be harder than this? I'm worried because it's still pretty soft."

The only thing that keeps me hanging on to hope is that 25% of pregnancy weight gain is liquids. Which I can testify to, being that I get up every 1-2 hours to go to the bathroom in the night. In fact a new record was accomplished last night. I got up 7 times between 11 and 5:30. And even then, I went to the bathroom twice more between 7 and 8.

Who knew going to the bathroom and weight gain could be so interesting? :)

In other news, Micah-my stud of a husband-put together a porch swing yesterday. My only question is to how long the neighbors will be able to tolerate us looking lovingly into each other's eyes and kissing...I'm pretty sure if someone based a reality TV around us, most people would vomit after about 5 minutes...and keep vomiting until I had an emotional outburst about breaking dishes.

peace.

Stories from the Field

Today I said "freaking" in front of a class. As in, "You have got to be freaking kidding me!" It was the only thing that could possibly fit a situation in which a group of 11-13 year old students had no concept of following procedure that had been set since last August.

Also, I had a class of kindergarten students get in trouble today for meditating loudly during instruction time. How do I call their parents? What should I say to let their parents know what happened?

Yes Ms. Smith, I'm sorry to bother you, but I wanted to let you know the Jeremy wrote me an apology today for meditating during class. It was very disruptive and caused us to stop our activity before we could get back on task.

peace.

PSA

I reread some of the previous blogs as a reflection on pregnancy yesterday. I just want to apologize for my pregnant brain and lack of proof reading that has been a part of this whole process. I'm almost embarrassed. But, in all reality, I'm too tired to care enough.

While I am scared poopless to be a parent, I am excited to be done being pregnant. Each day just gets a little bit harder...and I still have about 12 weeks to go.

peace.

PS In the process of writing this e mail I had to correct 6 word choices, for instance, I initially typed "e mail" instead of "blog." See what I mean? And to make matters funnier I realized I just did the same thing in this portion. The word "e mail" should be blog. But I'm too lazy to correct it. Instead I'll just continue typing about it...

And yet another story from the battle...

When Micah and I watch movies we sometimes push the couches in the living room together so we can hold hands while still having some space. Today I thought it would be really funny to climb my big belly on top of Micah before rolling over to my designated chillaxing spot on the loveseat.

My plan majorly backfired.

I am not graceful to begin with...Micah has this really great story from when we were first dating and I rolled off the couch and fell flat on the floor without trying to buffer the fall at all.

So I crawled onto Micah, put myself flat on top of him, and started to roll to my couch-but my knee someone went between the couches. This caused the couches to separate from each other and I fell on my left ankle with my right knee. The right knee slid off the ankle and crashed into the floor.

If that wasn't enough, I thought it was pretty funny. But in the process of getting off the floor I kneed Elmer right in the face, which I didn't find entertaining. So I started crying, hard, while still laughing about the fall. My mixed emotions got the better of me and after a few moments I could no longer breathe.

It was awful.

And now I'm just tired, but deeply in love with my wonderful husband who manages to love me and recognize that I'm not completely crazy. There are reasons to stick this out...you know, small things like a fabulous house in the 'hood and large things like our daughter who will be here in 3 months!

On a side note, we had a wonderful weekend. We went to Bloomington for a few days and nights, enjoyed some time together, and came home yesterday. It was amazing to get away and just "be" together.

Yesterday we registered at Target. And it is nice to have that done as well. :)

peace.

Last night...

Last night was hard. I was a hormonal tornado.

In the process of sorting clothes, I knocked a whole glass of water into the clean clothes basket. Which, of course, lead to a complete mental and emotional breakdown. I SOBBED for a good 15 minutes.

During this time I got incredibly upset with Micah because of his response to the question, "If you could have a baby, would you?" He answered that he couldn't have a baby, but if he could he would. But he paused before answering me.

And that pause determined my thought that he was completely lying to me.

So then I got really mad at him because he couldn't have a baby.

This seriously happened.


Today we had another doctor's appointment. It was pretty great. A lot of our questions were answered about the birth, after the baby, and future planning of our family.

Miss Bell's heartbeat was a strong 150. I am measuring a little large and have a suspected bladder infection. So that means more fun testing in the near future! WHOO HOO! I don't have gestational diabetes, but am slightly anemic.

The sad part is that as long as I maintain a healthy baby, no more unltrasounds. :(

peace.

Hope

Micah and I are dorks...nerds...geeks...whatever you want to call it, we're totally square.

In the 9 months we have been married so far, we have come to realize that we enjoy the finer parts of life like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the X-Files, Firefly, and-the newest addiction-Battlestar Galactica. Not to mention zombies, vampires, and a myriad of other science fiction.

These have been both a bonding experience and comforting as we have navigated these first 9 months. We never intended on having a baby so quickly, our hope was that we would learn to be married first, but that in itself is a bonding experience for many reasons. It's nice to have an escape from the constant excitement my hormones bring to our relationship.

I mentioned in a recent blog post that I had been feeling better...those feelings left a few days ago. The honeymoon of second trimester is over, and the day I entered the third I could understand why the second could be compared to paradise. Praise God that He carried both Micah and I through the month of March. From a career standpoint, we could not have asked for a bigger blessing than how well I was feeling.

I hear the service at CG was amazing today. I feel like I should know, being that I was there, but I don't feel like I got to experience much. I felt like poo. While worshiping at the end of the service, I became overwhelmed. I'm tired of feeling like this. While I attended the majority of the Revelation series, I don't remember much of it. It's a struggle to experience worship, partake in communion, and just be with God when I am fighting my body.

This morning at church, on Easter Sunday of all days, I gave up hope of feeling better.

And it's been a hard day. I never realized how I would cling to hope and allow it to carry me through the times of poo. And out of all things to help me come to this realization, it wasn't reading about the Love of Christ displayed on the cross or the promise to the criminal that He would see him in Paradise.

It was Battlestar Galactica.

Micah and I started the third season today, and about 2/3 of the way through the first episode I just started crying. Crying to the point that we had to stop the video and Micah needed to just hold me. You see, the setting had been displayed as a place void of hope. To the point where I felt no hope...and it was a struggle to watch < BSG >.

As Micah was holding me, we started the video again. And it I would have waited about 3 minutes, a message from one ship to another would have popped onto the screen telling me to, "Have Hope."

peace.