We all know that Campbell is a fussy, fussy baby. And we all know that she is loved dearly by anyone who meets her. Yesterday I had my first experience of inconsolable crying in public while at the library (of all places). Today I had my second experience.
She woke up upset this morning and the past week or so, her crying has made it difficult for her to eat. So after struggling to feed her, I thought a car ride/trip to Target to get "Gripe Water" may be the best thing to do for her.
I was wrong. She screamed in Target for 20 minutes. She only stopped when I took her out of her car seat. I held her while pushing a cart with my hips. As soon as I put her back in the car seat she started up again. I was then approached by no less than 4 people and got evil glares from one more.
She stayed up through two more feedings. When she fell asleep, I decided to nap. While laying down, I touched my ear and found a brown, hairy SPIDER in it! I couldn't take a nap after that (and am still a bit fearful the spider laid eggs in my ear), so I decided to eat lunch. On the way to the kitchen, I checked the mailbox.
In doing this I learned that if I don't close the door fully Elmer can open it. So he took off, Inu followed shortly after.
By this time it had been 3 hours since Campbell had eaten and she was sleeping. So I woke her up, resulting in more crying, put her in the Baby Bjorn, and started trekking through the neighborhood. Elmer ran ahead of me the entire time, but I couldn't find Inu.
I came back to the house, fed Campbell, put her in the car seat, and took off to find Inu again. I drove around for 20 minutes and was taking a pass by the house when I saw her sitting on the front porch. She was disgusting. She still is disgusting.
It's been a day. I'm exhausted.
peace.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A case of the fussies
Campbell experience life fully. She soaks in naps (preferably on mommy or daddy's chest) and sleeps for long periods of time. It is practically medieval torture to wake her from sleeping. No amount of tickling, tossing, cold wash clothes, and blowing air into her face will sufficiently wake her.
She loves to eat, but still prefers sleep.
She feels pain...not because we inflict upon her, but just in general. She can scream with the best of them and has recently started screaming to a point that no sound is released. Her faces scrunches and turns tomato red...it looks painful and practically gives me a headache watching her.
But on Sunday she showed us that she experiences other things too...she laughed at daddy. It was one quick giggle, but it was enough. She has since given me many super smiley moments. She is definitely capable of experience and exhibiting joy.
She also has started showing affection. As she has gained head control she will lift her head and study our faces then bury her head in our chest. It could be from tired muscles or it could be that she loves us. I prefer to believe the latter.
peace.
She loves to eat, but still prefers sleep.
She feels pain...not because we inflict upon her, but just in general. She can scream with the best of them and has recently started screaming to a point that no sound is released. Her faces scrunches and turns tomato red...it looks painful and practically gives me a headache watching her.
But on Sunday she showed us that she experiences other things too...she laughed at daddy. It was one quick giggle, but it was enough. She has since given me many super smiley moments. She is definitely capable of experience and exhibiting joy.
She also has started showing affection. As she has gained head control she will lift her head and study our faces then bury her head in our chest. It could be from tired muscles or it could be that she loves us. I prefer to believe the latter.
peace.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The big ONE!
Campbell is one month today!
The last month has brought forth the following:
*comparisons of labor to terrorism (ask Micah)
*an amazingly speedy recovery from giving birth
*Carter losing 30 pounds (still have 20 to go, 35 'til my goal weight) and Micah gaining 5 (the hospital food was amazing)!
*suspecting colic
*the screaming going from up to 11 hours a day to just a few instances per day in the period of 2 weeks
*odd feelings when driving a car
*odd feelings when driving a car without a car seat
*only almost forgetting to bring her with me once
*realizing that school has started and that I'm not there
*many annoyances from the dogs (anyone want Elmer?)
*lots of cuddling
*lots of laughing at our very noisy when eating, burping, or stinkering little girl
*lots of relearning to be husband and wife with a little baby
Seriously, though, I don't think I ever realized how hard it would be to be both a wife and a mother. I strongly believe that God calls mothers to first be a wife, that in the pyramid of family God is first, spouses are second, and children are third. And it's hard. It's hard to not become overwhelmed by both the good and challenge of Campbell. Micah was, is, and will always be first...as I stagger in trying to figure out how to maintain that I often forget that is God's intention and it is He who will make it a reality. I just happen to be blessed by a wonderful, patient, and understanding husband in the process.
Also, I never realized how much I adore my job...and while I am treasuring my time with Campbell, I miss the children and miss teaching music. It is eye opening as to how blessed we are as a couple...it's a very challenging fairy tale life I am abundantly blessed to live.
peace.
The last month has brought forth the following:
*comparisons of labor to terrorism (ask Micah)
*an amazingly speedy recovery from giving birth
*Carter losing 30 pounds (still have 20 to go, 35 'til my goal weight) and Micah gaining 5 (the hospital food was amazing)!
*suspecting colic
*the screaming going from up to 11 hours a day to just a few instances per day in the period of 2 weeks
*odd feelings when driving a car
*odd feelings when driving a car without a car seat
*only almost forgetting to bring her with me once
*realizing that school has started and that I'm not there
*many annoyances from the dogs (anyone want Elmer?)
*lots of cuddling
*lots of laughing at our very noisy when eating, burping, or stinkering little girl
*lots of relearning to be husband and wife with a little baby
Seriously, though, I don't think I ever realized how hard it would be to be both a wife and a mother. I strongly believe that God calls mothers to first be a wife, that in the pyramid of family God is first, spouses are second, and children are third. And it's hard. It's hard to not become overwhelmed by both the good and challenge of Campbell. Micah was, is, and will always be first...as I stagger in trying to figure out how to maintain that I often forget that is God's intention and it is He who will make it a reality. I just happen to be blessed by a wonderful, patient, and understanding husband in the process.
Also, I never realized how much I adore my job...and while I am treasuring my time with Campbell, I miss the children and miss teaching music. It is eye opening as to how blessed we are as a couple...it's a very challenging fairy tale life I am abundantly blessed to live.
peace.
Monday, August 10, 2009
a stubborn girl
Campbell is one of the most willful people I have ever met. It makes sense being that she is from Micah and me and we are both stuck in our ways, to put it nicely. (As a side note, we have learned how to be married and stubborn...and are still working through the kinks.)
Last night she woke up around 3:45 to eat. We got back to bed around 4:10. I like to listen to make sure she is settled in before I succumb to the waves of exhaustion calling me back to sleep. I had to work hard to stay up while she got settled last night because the process wasn't complete until around 4:45.
You see, Campbell is particular about where her feet point when she sleeps. And if I'm not paying close attention I will lay her length wise in the bassinet, even though she likes to sleep width wise.
She spent 35 minutes last night turning herself a quarter turn before we both had permission to welcome the sleep that was gently calling our names.
peace.
Last night she woke up around 3:45 to eat. We got back to bed around 4:10. I like to listen to make sure she is settled in before I succumb to the waves of exhaustion calling me back to sleep. I had to work hard to stay up while she got settled last night because the process wasn't complete until around 4:45.
You see, Campbell is particular about where her feet point when she sleeps. And if I'm not paying close attention I will lay her length wise in the bassinet, even though she likes to sleep width wise.
She spent 35 minutes last night turning herself a quarter turn before we both had permission to welcome the sleep that was gently calling our names.
peace.
Friday, August 7, 2009
But before I update you on Campbell, a big congrats to our friends Bret and Erin Hawkins who have just endured the LONGEST pregnancy EVER and will be bringing home their daughter Grace Min Wei Hawkins from China on Saturday! They've been pursuing her for 4 years and finally have their daughter! You can read more athttp://bretanderin.blogspot.com/
(And I thought 9 months was long suffering!)
Campbell has been in the real, live world for 2 weeks and 3 days now...instead of eloquently trying to update you on her life, our lives, the dogs, and general observations, I am going to do a point by point of whatever I can think of to write while I wait for her to wake up for her next feeding.
*I feel like I understand little parts of God more now. I have a better grasp of what it means to love in all circumstances-be it the smiles or the screams...as well as what it means to have the past wiped from your memory, much as I imagine what is meant when Biblical writers speak of God forgetting our past transgressions. As soon as Campbell was born, one of my first thoughts was that I would bear another child again in a heartbeat! This is similar to how I feel after a monster of a screaming fit...the fit could last (and have) up to 4 hours, but a soon as it is over I am consumed with love for Campbell. I forget how long the hours seemed and am brought right back to the moment of having my sweet girl snuggling on my chest.
*Campbell is a great eater, she gained 14 ounces in 8 days...and grew an inch! And one of the best parts is that when she is searching for her food source she snorts like a pig. Seriously, I feel like I am in "A Christmas Story" where the mom is telling her son to show her how a little piggy eats! Campbell is a little piggy.
*Being a mother is infinitely more difficult than I ever imagined; but as in all challenges, it is also infinitely more rewarding.
*I am blessed with amazing family and friends who love deeply.
*Nursing is a lot like boxing...I have ointment to treat the wounds, Micah feeds me water while my hands are tied, and when I get up from the rocking chair it hits the metal lamp a lot like a bell. And every once in a while, a cold wash cloth is needed...
*Campbell sleeps amazingly well in the night most of the time. We have had nights where there has only been one interruption and Campbell sleeps up to 5 hour stretches. I believe this makes up for her refusal to take a morning nap and only taking a shortened evening nap.
*Books make things sound easy. I never guessed that nursing could be one inch short of medieval torture. Or that getting a routine would require so much effort. Or teaching a baby to sleep in a crib would be so heart wrenching. I am all about the tough love as a teacher, but even I have my limits as to how long I can listen to Campbell scream (not cry, but exorcist scream) before I have to get her! All I've realized I can do is take it one nap at a time.
*Campbell is wicked strong...both physically and in the will department. She can lift her head for upwards of 20 to 30 seconds. She can push her way up your body with her legs. She likes to grab Micah's chest hair and pull really hard. Strong willed wise, if she wants cuddles she will scream until she gets them. We are on our 4th day of no morning nap until it's on my chest. I have tried to teach her to sleep in the crib, but she has cried for up to 45 minutes when left to her own devices.
*Micah and I have to make great efforts to stay connected to each other. We started to get the hang of how to be husband and wife while being parents then he went back to work. I miss him.
*Our lives are consumed by eating and pooping.
peace.
PS This blog was interrupted twice in the writing. :)
PPS Our internet is spotty at best, so writing and publishing this was a nine hour process...kids change lives a bunch.
(And I thought 9 months was long suffering!)
Campbell has been in the real, live world for 2 weeks and 3 days now...instead of eloquently trying to update you on her life, our lives, the dogs, and general observations, I am going to do a point by point of whatever I can think of to write while I wait for her to wake up for her next feeding.
*I feel like I understand little parts of God more now. I have a better grasp of what it means to love in all circumstances-be it the smiles or the screams...as well as what it means to have the past wiped from your memory, much as I imagine what is meant when Biblical writers speak of God forgetting our past transgressions. As soon as Campbell was born, one of my first thoughts was that I would bear another child again in a heartbeat! This is similar to how I feel after a monster of a screaming fit...the fit could last (and have) up to 4 hours, but a soon as it is over I am consumed with love for Campbell. I forget how long the hours seemed and am brought right back to the moment of having my sweet girl snuggling on my chest.
*Campbell is a great eater, she gained 14 ounces in 8 days...and grew an inch! And one of the best parts is that when she is searching for her food source she snorts like a pig. Seriously, I feel like I am in "A Christmas Story" where the mom is telling her son to show her how a little piggy eats! Campbell is a little piggy.
*Being a mother is infinitely more difficult than I ever imagined; but as in all challenges, it is also infinitely more rewarding.
*I am blessed with amazing family and friends who love deeply.
*Nursing is a lot like boxing...I have ointment to treat the wounds, Micah feeds me water while my hands are tied, and when I get up from the rocking chair it hits the metal lamp a lot like a bell. And every once in a while, a cold wash cloth is needed...
*Campbell sleeps amazingly well in the night most of the time. We have had nights where there has only been one interruption and Campbell sleeps up to 5 hour stretches. I believe this makes up for her refusal to take a morning nap and only taking a shortened evening nap.
*Books make things sound easy. I never guessed that nursing could be one inch short of medieval torture. Or that getting a routine would require so much effort. Or teaching a baby to sleep in a crib would be so heart wrenching. I am all about the tough love as a teacher, but even I have my limits as to how long I can listen to Campbell scream (not cry, but exorcist scream) before I have to get her! All I've realized I can do is take it one nap at a time.
*Campbell is wicked strong...both physically and in the will department. She can lift her head for upwards of 20 to 30 seconds. She can push her way up your body with her legs. She likes to grab Micah's chest hair and pull really hard. Strong willed wise, if she wants cuddles she will scream until she gets them. We are on our 4th day of no morning nap until it's on my chest. I have tried to teach her to sleep in the crib, but she has cried for up to 45 minutes when left to her own devices.
*Micah and I have to make great efforts to stay connected to each other. We started to get the hang of how to be husband and wife while being parents then he went back to work. I miss him.
*Our lives are consumed by eating and pooping.
peace.
PS This blog was interrupted twice in the writing. :)
PPS Our internet is spotty at best, so writing and publishing this was a nine hour process...kids change lives a bunch.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
My Beautiful Girls
Where to begin? It has been a crazy year and a half. You know what they say, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage."
It rocks.
I've never felt as blessed as I do right now. Carter and Campbell are both snoozing after their morning feeding and I'm left to the peace and quiet of picking up the house. I love every minute of it. I love doing their laundry, I love making them breakfast, and I love sweeping the floor. Right after Campbell was delivered Carter said the look on my face was unforgettable. That perhaps God had created me for only two reasons. To be a husband and a father. I can only hope that is true, because I feel completely fulfilled in this.
I was just sweeping the kitchen floor and thinking about how much of a Rock Star Carter was during the entire labor and delivery process. I've never been as proud of anyone as I was of my wife on Saturday and Sunday. When I think about it I begin to weep with love and thankfulness for what God has provided to me. I am rich beyond measure. I stood in the kitchen and just began to praise God for all of the gifts he has given to me. I feel like having a daughter has finally allowed me to see the love of God the Father. All encompassing, all loving. We are never out of his mind or his heart and I know that know. I might have believed it before, but today for me it is Truth.
My daughter is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. The way she sleeps, cries, snorts....I could go on and on and on. I'm crying again. =)
I'm thinking about how great our families have been and how wonderful our community is. All I can do is shed tears of thankfulness and joy.
Thank you all for loving us so well.
peace
micah
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Stumbling through Labor
This is Campbell Jane Bell born at 12:39 PM on July 19th weighing 8 pounds, 3 ounces and 20 inches in length. This is her story, at least the first couple hours of it.
I was in labor either 31 hours or 22 hours depending on when you count labor starting. I started regular contractions at 5 AM Saturday morning, but they weren't progressing my dilation and effacement when the doctor asked us to come into to be checked. So we went home...and when the contractions started at 3 PM and were so painful I was tearing up but I was too stubborn to call the doctor, we finally went back in around 10 PM. I had dilated to between a 4&5, so I was commanded to stay. :)
Around 2 AM the contractions were real strong and I was crying through a few of them. Don't get me wrong, they hurt...but I think it was more that I was exhausted and had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep Friday night and hadn't really slept since. So Micah and I decided on an epidural so we could get some sleep while I progressed.
Only I didn't progress and after a really upsetting conversation, that left me in tears, with the doctor on call (our doctor was off the clocks this weekend) we finally convinced him to let me go another hour before break my water. When my water was broken, but nothing really came out (our darling daughter was positioned in such a way that she was blocking the flow) and I progressed a centimeter in 2 hours, he ordered the pitocin.
Micah and I were dead set against the pitocin-unless it was an absolute emergency. We had had numerous talks with our ob about this...but we didn't have our ob delivering us so he didn't know about these conversations. And when I was trying to explain our feelings to him, he basically said we brought this on ourselves by getting an epidural.
But he is the medical professional, so we got pitocin. And it wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. Though the epidural wore off in my delivering area and, in spite of two more attempts to renumb the areas, it stayed that way until delivery.
Labor was a tough, tough process for me. I got about 4 hours of sleep from Friday morning until Campbell was delivered at 12:39 on Sunday. I can handle pain pretty well, I can't handle exhaustion. It amplified all the good things and hard things that happened. I struggled a great deal with not having the doctor who cared for us for the last 9 months deliver Campbell-I never thought it would be that hard. I struggled with having residents care for my body and being poked and prodded several times in similar ways so that they could gain field experience. I struggled veering from what we wanted originally-as simple as a labor as possible, in that minimal interventions would be used.
But here is the good news-I pushed for less than an hour. And towards the end, I even got to let the contractions do all the work. My body took to delivering a baby better than anticipated and damages were relatively minimal and minor. I never lost feeling in my legs and feet.
And Micah was absolutely amazing. Seriously, right after Campbell left my body I looked at him and felt that God had created him for two purposes in life...to be a husband and a father. He was so supportive, so loving, and just perfect during the whole process. The second he held Campbell she stopped crying. They love each other so much...and they've only known each other outside my womb for 9 hours!
Campbell is absolutely perfect. She didn't cry when she got her shots...she fussed a little when getting cleaned, but as soon as Micah took her she stopped. When I got to hold her, she just started at me. She is beautiful and loving. She latched on to nursing right away and by the 4th feeding she fed 15 minutes on each breast. We've attempted to do a feed, wake, sleep pattern with her in the 9 hours she's been outside the womb and she has taken to it...
Now I know that all these things can change. It's been 9 hours, though it feels like an eternity. But we are just about the most proud parents in God's good earth. Pictures don't do her justice.
I am writing this as I listen to Micah snore and watch Campbell sleep. I am excited to join in their slumber as well. We are blessed, blessed people-but the blessings seem to be shining a little brighter for us on this 19th day of July.
peace.
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