Wonder

Every year I take my students to the symphony. All 1st through 6th graders. Some wear suits, some wear uniforms, some flower girls dresses...we get on a bus and go downtown to listen to the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra play at Hilbert Circle Theater.

Every year I wonder how they hear the music...what they think while sitting in oversize theater chairs straining to see over the person's head in front of them. I wonder what the 1st grade students are experiencing being that most of them have never been in such an environment.

At church last night I think I may have gotten a glimpse of the thought processes of a first time symphony attender. As the pastor was preaching about Revelation (the infamous book from the Bible about the end of the world) he went into a metaphor between the symphony and the nations. He spoke in detail about sitting at the top of Hilbert Circle and watching the musicians "play their instruments," about the crowd erupting in applause for the "first chair," about the tuning where the first chair plays a note and then everyone plays it as well...and how that is like the world. Chaos brought in tune.

I caught the message of the sermon, but it left me with perspective about my students and how I believe God wants us to live.

We spend a good three weeks preparing for the symphony. We go over the instrument sounds, listen to excerpts of the performances we will hear, review vocabulary, and talk about being "music critics" and the kinds of words we should use to describe our experience.

But in the end, they sound a lot like my pastor. There are an incredible amount of incorrect terms used to discuss what they liked, didn't like, and thought of the performance. They use unsophisticated language to express their opinions and impressions.

But, like my pastor, they are passionate about these thoughts, opinions, and experiences. They are struck by the extremes of the symphony-how incredibly loud and powerful unified voices can be, but also how sweet, quiet, and sensitively they express themselves.

In all honesty, I can get really annoyed and feel like a failure of a teacher in moments like this. But listening to my pastor last night and watching his face light up with passion and excitement over his symphony experience, I realized I am missing the point both as a teacher and as a child of God.

My students may not use the correct terms, but they are awestruck and in complete wonder at the symphony. They are empowered. They feel worthy and like real people in real society. They love going to the symphony.

Shouldn't we be the same when experience a new power of the Lord? Shouldn't we stand in awe of what He has done and is doing? Shouldn't we be amazed at his power, might, and love? And shouldn't this lead us to be passionate about our experiences-even if we don't know exactly the correct terms?

peace.

Sleepless nights

So, let's talk about how pregnancy has been treating me.

It's hard. I'm exhausted all the time...10 hours of sleep a night and going to bed between 7:30 and 9 are commonplace...my lower back hurts from carrying the extra weight in my chest...I can only eat a few bites of something before I start to feel nauseous, then I am starving while nauseous a half hour later. I recently got my first bad headache, borderlining a migraine, and was pretty sure my head had expanded three times its original size and would explode at Inu's next bark. I feel like I have to poo all the time, but don't go to the bathroom, and I do have to pee constantly.

The last sentiment leads me to sleeping. Granted I have only gained 5 pounds in 13 weeks. That is one pound more than I should have gained, but not too bad really. I figure I am carrying most of it up top and a bit in my belly. Though it is enough that I can't wear pants that sit right below my belly button anymore.

All that said, my body isn't too different, which means it shouldn't be hard to sleep.

But it is.

I struggle to get comfortable without taking over the entire queen bed. I steal the covers all the time and then get tangled. And I have to get up to pee every hour.

Micah has recently brought it to my attention that, before I get up to use the restroom in the middle of the night, I announce that I have to go. Which means, I wake Micah up to tell him what is happening. I always fall back on the "You're narcoleptic which means you can fall right back asleep" issue, but I guess that is not acceptable when I am interrupting a REM cycle.

This has all culminated recently when I woke Micah during the last full moon to ask if someone had put a street light in the alley. It was THAT bright. It really looked like someone was shining the brightest flashlight ever in through our west facing window.

Thursday night I woke Micah again to have him look at the moon. On Saturday he let me know that the brightest moon of the year was going to happen that night. We then got into a discussion as to whether it was proper for me to be waking him to let him know completely benign thoughts throughout the night.

During which I told him that I thought I was making the right decision. So he started mocking me and said, "I'd do it all over again."

And I was so excited because I had done it all over again!

Needless to say we were both bummed when the clouds covered the brightest moon of the year last night.

peace.