one year of marital bliss!

Well, one year will technically be Sunday. But we celebrated it tonight with an impromptu dinner, gifts, and cupcakes.

We had our 37 week appointment today where we were told I am 2 cm dilated and my cervix is still half thinned. Dr. Cleary has been very conservative on any chance of us going early, but did say that he would see us in a week, if not before...he really led us to believe she will be here sooner rather than later! Potentially this week! Which means that we will probably NOT make our goal of having our one year anniversary just the two of us.

So we celebrated tonight! We had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and then went to Luna where we each picked out a CD (Miss Bell did too...Trout Fishing in America). We came home and snuggled for a bit, then had cupcakes from the Flying Cupcake.

We couldn't really have the top layer of our wedding cake because the dogs ate it. Which is actually an incredibly humorous story, but rated PG-13...

Both Micah and I were virgins when we got married, so the hang of sex took a few (incredibly fun and funny) attempts. But after a few days, we were pros.

We waited a week to go on our honeymoon so we could participate in our friends The Bensons wedding ceremony, but wanted a few days away from Indy right after we got married. So we took 2 nights in Nashville to ourselves, then came home.

The rest of our cake had been safely placed in our fridge, but I got it out to nibble a bit before getting distracted by my incredibly handsome husband.

So, we were "practicing" what we had learned in Nashville, when all of the sudden we heard a crash and then a dog fight! We immediately stopped what we were doing and Micah ran buck naked into the living room to break up the fight the had commenced over the top layer of our wedding cake...

We lost our chance to have the top layer of our cake for our one year anniversary...but getting cupcakes in the same flavor as the top layer (red velvet elvis) is not a bad second. :)

peace.

satisfaction

I'm taking out stock in Ben and Jerry's. Specifically Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry's.

Micah and I participate in Community Supported Agriculture. Every week we get a load of nutritious veggies and some fruits. If we aren't careful, some of the good goes to waste, so we have to plan carefully. Yesterday night we decided we wanted Pizza King pizza with salad. While out we picked up a few more things for the salad and ran to Blockbuster before getting the Pizza. As we were leaving pizza king, I sheepishly said, "You can say no, but could we run by Target so I could get some ice cream?"

Micah, in his generous and loving spirit, agreed-but only if I got him a pint of Chunky Monkey as well.

I hopped out of the car (well, hopped is a relative term) and walked quickly (faster than a snail's pace) across the store to the coveted freezer holding Ben and Jerry's. Much to my dismay, Chunky Monkey was not in its typical location.

Without a second though, I dropped to my knees on the floor, opened the freezer door, and started to root around until I found the last two pints tucked behind the Phish Food and Cherry Garcia. When I went to stand up, I realized an elderly black man had been holding my freezer door open for me the entire time.

I sheepishly smiled at him, said my thanks, and added how much I appreciated him. He gave me a knowing look and held up a box of drumsticks.

He then added, "When you want ice cream, you want ice cream!"

peace.

NOT Stumbling through Pregnancy

There are parts of being pregnant that lean towards the hardest thing I've (and probably) Micah have ever gone through...and I've been through a decent amount in these 27 years of life.

But, this is dedicated to what I love about being pregnant...

1) I have to walk slowly. It's nice to be able to have permission to take time getting places and enjoy the scenery.

2) I love having a desire to clean. I love (and am most at peace) with a clean house, but expecting a child adds a new excitement to cleaning.

3) I love Monday afternoon appointments and how I get to see Micah at 3 and spending the rest of the afternoon and evening with him.

4) I love feeling our little girl dance and move. :)

5) Even better, is sharing in our little girls movement with my husband. Just the two of us sitting on the couch or snuggling in bed and having family moments.

6) Napping and having reasons to sleep more often.

7) The decision to stay on Kingsley Drive...while it's not permanent, it's good to know where home will be for a little while longer. The end to the pursuit of greener grass is wonderful.

8) I love the long term perspective God has given us through this...and being married to a man who shares such a common vision. It's amazing to be so united with someone who puts family above all else and is willing to sacrifice to put family first.

9) The purging part of nesting. Sweet release of material items!

10) I love seeing our love for our daughter reflected in the eyes and hearts of our family and friends.

peace.

:)

Well, things are starting to come together! Less than 4 weeks until guess date! Travel has been limited to within an hour of the hospital, we've discussed our birth plan (though a better term may be a 'go with the flow' plan), laundry for clothes 0-6 months has been washed, and plans for the rest of the house (minus the living room) are done.

We've started getting the dogs to sleep in a different room in case we find it easier in the beginning to keep Miss Bell in the bassinet in the room with us. We have learned how to "inu-proof" a room-after losing 2 pairs of shoes and a duster, not to mention lots of chewed up trash. My hope is that after a couple nights we have learned.

At the doctor's appointment yesterday, we discovered that I'm on my way! I'm dilated a "fingertip" and my cervix has thinned about halfway. :)

update

There has a bit of staggering as we get the house together for Miss Bell...especially considering we are a bit organizationally challenged in a particularly small space. But it is slowly, but surely coming together. Though not at the same speed as we are acquiring blessings for our smallest blessing!

Two huge blessings came this weekend-both at the same time!

Micah's dad, Steve, came down Saturday and stayed through Sunday afternoon to help around the house. They had lots of amazing bonding time accented with putting together the rest of the nursery furniture (which means I can start nesting!), a new garbage disposal, and ceiling fans. Lots of luxuries that make life just a bit easier. Steve is so precious to Micah and me, so it was wonderful to share this time with him.

What made it most special to me was seeing how much Micah loves his father and how that will impact how Micah raises our daughter. It was also fun to see Steve loving Miss Bell before she is born through his service and words (to my belly, of course)!

The other huge blessing was that I had an absolutely perfect baby shower on Saturday (not even a week after another perfect shower with our families in Auburn last Sunday)! I had an amazing time seeing a group of women I love dearly while be blessed beyond measure for the birth of our daughter.

It is amazing to see people so freely love Miss Bell that have not even met her yet!

Pregnancy has been a very difficult experience for me, but I am just full right now. Full of love for Micah, our families, our friends, our dogs, and Miss Bell!!!!

peace.

Staggering through suffering

I have a friend who was on an anti-depressant about a year ago. She was really struggling with taking the medication because she felt it helped her escape suffering. She felt like God wants us to see injustice, carry the cross, and experience the suffering of those around us.

I agree with her.

I have been seeing a counselor for depression and anxiety off and on (mostly off) since 4th grade. (That's since 1991.) I have been on medication off and on since 2001. For the first time I am completely at peace with taking medicine-for lots of reasons.

One of those reasons was revealed to me this morning. I was driving to meet with another dear friend for coffee at 6:30 this morning and thinking about the past few days of life and if there was anything significant that I had noticed God doing. I thought about what I had accomplished in the past days (not very much) and realized that while I hadn't checked lots off the to-do list, I had done a lot of things I typically love to do.

And I wondered what had changed in life to make me-all of the sudden-desire to read articles about injustice, fight the government, and watch documentaries...and came to the realization that suffering wasn't all about me anymore.

I wasn't so preoccupied and overwhelmed by my suffering so I could share in the suffering of others. I wasn't miserable and feeling like a failure. Instead I was feeling close to God and empowered to fight the good fight...to seek out justice and truth and be a part of ushering the Kingdom that is already here into the lives of those not recognizing it.

And it feels good...I feel like God has given me my life back...that He has explained to me that struggling with depression and anxiety has given me opportunities to share in suffering with others, but He has provided relief. That it isn't a punishment that my serotonin levels aren't quite what they are supposed to be...instead these experiences will be used for His glory.

I feel like God is shaping me into the mother I am supposed to be. A mother that teachers her child-someday children-about injustice and loving others, about being the hands and feet of Christ, about using our voices to tear down walls and build up the people.

And it feels good...and peaceful.

Drunkenly Staggering on Kingsley Drive

A few weeks before we got married last summer, 3 feet of other people's poop and toilet run off came up through our basement drain. We were storing the Moore's (then serving in Ukraine) and Kandice's (getting read to serve in Central Asia) personal belongings. Many of our personal belongings were in the basement as well.

We lost everything...their things, all my pictures from birth through age 21, Micah's entire book library, many of my sentimental items that were in storage and in waiting to pass down to children...

It was a good lesson in where I placed my treasure. We survived (with Micah waking at 5 to come over super early in the morning and save what he could).

Yesterday we had a nasty hail storm. The streets in this neighborhood were flooded, ice was abundant, and it was a bit scary. I figured the basement might have some back-up but wasn't sure and didn't look.

But Micah looked, said it was gross, and I took him at his word.

I was out of clean clothes this morning and had done a load yesterday before the backup, so I thought I would go down to see if they were OK. The first thing I noticed in the basement was all the sludge on the ground. The second thing I noticed was the smell. I grabbed a clean pair of undies and a shirt, then came back upstairs and called a plumber.

What the plumber told me was the sewers and water lines run into each other (ew, gross) when it rains really hard and it would cost us $1500 to fix the basement. While it sucks that it is so expensive to fix this problem, what sucks even more is that we live in a neighborhood with people who have no means to fix the problem. Especially considering this is a problem of the CITY WATER AND SEWAGE DEPARTMENT.

So I then called the Department of Public Works.

The woman I spoke to there was incredibly helpful, sent my claim, and told me someone would be out shortly to look at our basement.

I felt powerful, I had called the man and gotten results! I felt like I was fighting for my neighbors and hopefully giving them something in the long run-that our days of having our basements filled with sewage were soon to be a distant memory.

A few hours later the DPW called, didn't come to the house, but called to tell me that our sewage problem was a common problem in this neighborhood and our best bet would be to put in a $1500 valve.

When I told him that I didn't find this acceptable and many people in our situation can't afford to put in a valve-especially given it is the city's malfunctioning water and sewage systems-he just tried to explain what happened again. So I asked him for who I could talk to about getting this fixed and he gave me some phone number for the Indianapolis City Engineering offices.

I feel like I am staggering through how to fight for my neighbors. Especially when I feel like there is injustice happening because I live in a largely impoverished neighborhood.

We have other people's poop coming into our basements in my neighborhood and all I can get is, "That's what happens when it rains really hard."

So, let's begin drunkenly staggering through this endeavor of loving our neighbors.

peace.

Drunkenly Staggering

So, I have decided to hold true to the name and title of this blog. While I understand that we have been rather preoccupied with events looming in the near future, the quote that inspired this blog still rings true.


I know which is the road that leads home and if I weave like a drunken man as I go down it that does not mean the road is the wrong one.
~Tolstoy

Home...this word means a great deal both Micah and I. Home for me is many things. Home is 4538 Kingsley Drive. Home is with Micah wherever we may be-in the car, making sandwiches for the Pour House, or snuggled in bed. Home is welcoming the Kingdom on earth.

So, we drunkenly weave the road that leads to the places that are our home. We weave as neighbors, as we learn to love each other more and our Father more fully, we weave in relationships, and as parents.

So, here's to stagger as we navigate, so be it...but we continue to stagger towards the cross.

confession

Micah and I set lofty goals for ourselves. All kinds of them...from weight loss to setting a schedule for Inu to organizational endeavors to savings accounts...goals help us keep our eyes on the prize...well, the kind of prize that doesn't involve Jesus. Though, what doesn't involve Jesus, really?

Anyway, I need to confess to you that we have decided to make our home livable...and part of this is enjoying living here. We got our furniture for the nursery at a great price from IKEA. We are super excited about how functional and useful it is. We have spent a great deal of time coming up with space saving ideas and purchases for the house. The most awesome thus far is a $10 pot lid wall holder. Normally we keep our pot lids under the stove. But since they are now on the wall, we got to empty one whole cupboard of bakeware and make room for some gadgets there were housed on the kitchen table.

So, here is the confession. We have decided to turn the 2nd bedroom into a den. (The 3rd bedroom is the nursery.) We're pretty excited about it. Eventually we will buy a "corner couch" for the room, but for now we have the loveseat. The glider we just got for almost $80 off will be in the den as well.

Part of turning the 10' x 11' room into a den was creating space for entertainment. We bought a big TV shelf with 18 13" x 13"boxes around the edges. It's what goes in the middle that I need to confess.

We bought a flat screen TV. And while not ashamed, it's a bit weird. We weren't super excited about the TV. It took us a week to plug it in. But it's flat, so it doesn't take up much space. Did you know that they don't even really make tube TVs anymore?

This is the first TV I have purchased. I had a 13 inch in college that my Dad traded me for a 24ish inch later. When Micah and I got married, we used his slightly larger TV.

This was doesn't take up much space and has a real pretty picture and colors.

So, there you go, we have a flat screen TV.

peace.