What God is teaching me...

One of the things that has been hard about being married is how much my relationship with God has changed since Micah entered my life. I remember talking about it with our mentor couple before we got married, and Erin very directly said that the way she spent her time with the Lord changed when she got married.

I haven't felt void of God, but He has more been my umbrella than anything else. I know He's there, I still experience Him, and still have been learning more about Him. But He seemed to just be above me, seeing everything but not really "involved."

Last week started to turn around a bit...we had passionate discussion in house church that was empowering to us, a convicting sermon that left us with hope, and new direction for how we feel God is asking us to live.

It's been exciting to see Micah fired up about what God has to say...for a while I felt like Micah was really supportive of my crazy ideas about how to live but in more of a "I really love Carter way" than a completely sold out for living minimally kind of way. And I think that is starting to change. We've been talking about sacrifice in more than a financial sense, but in a "what would it look like if we both worked part time so we could be more dedicated to our family and available to serve the community" kind of way. We've been talking about how to make the home more energy efficient. And what it will look like when we are down to one car.

It's exciting. And I feel close, empowered, and excited about living into this life God has provided in a very alive and real way.

But it isn't without some sacrificial realization from a very one sided and personal level.

I am learning what it means to be married and have friends. Sometimes my biggest desire is to have one of my close friends move next door so that we can be in each other's lives more regularly. I am realizing that one flesh means a lot more than sex. I am becoming more comfortable with the notion that friendships change and that I can't always see people when they desire to see me. I am understanding my married friends more...

peace.