Hope

Micah and I are dorks...nerds...geeks...whatever you want to call it, we're totally square.

In the 9 months we have been married so far, we have come to realize that we enjoy the finer parts of life like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the X-Files, Firefly, and-the newest addiction-Battlestar Galactica. Not to mention zombies, vampires, and a myriad of other science fiction.

These have been both a bonding experience and comforting as we have navigated these first 9 months. We never intended on having a baby so quickly, our hope was that we would learn to be married first, but that in itself is a bonding experience for many reasons. It's nice to have an escape from the constant excitement my hormones bring to our relationship.

I mentioned in a recent blog post that I had been feeling better...those feelings left a few days ago. The honeymoon of second trimester is over, and the day I entered the third I could understand why the second could be compared to paradise. Praise God that He carried both Micah and I through the month of March. From a career standpoint, we could not have asked for a bigger blessing than how well I was feeling.

I hear the service at CG was amazing today. I feel like I should know, being that I was there, but I don't feel like I got to experience much. I felt like poo. While worshiping at the end of the service, I became overwhelmed. I'm tired of feeling like this. While I attended the majority of the Revelation series, I don't remember much of it. It's a struggle to experience worship, partake in communion, and just be with God when I am fighting my body.

This morning at church, on Easter Sunday of all days, I gave up hope of feeling better.

And it's been a hard day. I never realized how I would cling to hope and allow it to carry me through the times of poo. And out of all things to help me come to this realization, it wasn't reading about the Love of Christ displayed on the cross or the promise to the criminal that He would see him in Paradise.

It was Battlestar Galactica.

Micah and I started the third season today, and about 2/3 of the way through the first episode I just started crying. Crying to the point that we had to stop the video and Micah needed to just hold me. You see, the setting had been displayed as a place void of hope. To the point where I felt no hope...and it was a struggle to watch < BSG >.

As Micah was holding me, we started the video again. And it I would have waited about 3 minutes, a message from one ship to another would have popped onto the screen telling me to, "Have Hope."

peace.