My Beautiful Girls

Where to begin? It has been a crazy year and a half. You know what they say, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage."

It rocks.

I've never felt as blessed as I do right now. Carter and Campbell are both snoozing after their morning feeding and I'm left to the peace and quiet of picking up the house. I love every minute of it. I love doing their laundry, I love making them breakfast, and I love sweeping the floor. Right after Campbell was delivered Carter said the look on my face was unforgettable. That perhaps God had created me for only two reasons. To be a husband and a father. I can only hope that is true, because I feel completely fulfilled in this.

I was just sweeping the kitchen floor and thinking about how much of a Rock Star Carter was during the entire labor and delivery process. I've never been as proud of anyone as I was of my wife on Saturday and Sunday. When I think about it I begin to weep with love and thankfulness for what God has provided to me. I am rich beyond measure. I stood in the kitchen and just began to praise God for all of the gifts he has given to me. I feel like having a daughter has finally allowed me to see the love of God the Father. All encompassing, all loving. We are never out of his mind or his heart and I know that know. I might have believed it before, but today for me it is Truth.

My daughter is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. The way she sleeps, cries, snorts....I could go on and on and on. I'm crying again. =)


I'm thinking about how great our families have been and how wonderful our community is. All I can do is shed tears of thankfulness and joy.

Thank you all for loving us so well.

peace
micah

Stumbling through Labor

This is Campbell Jane Bell born at 12:39 PM on July 19th weighing 8 pounds, 3 ounces and 20 inches in length. This is her story, at least the first couple hours of it.

I was in labor either 31 hours or 22 hours depending on when you count labor starting. I started regular contractions at 5 AM Saturday morning, but they weren't progressing my dilation and effacement when the doctor asked us to come into to be checked. So we went home...and when the contractions started at 3 PM and were so painful I was tearing up but I was too stubborn to call the doctor, we finally went back in around 10 PM. I had dilated to between a 4&5, so I was commanded to stay. :)

Around 2 AM the contractions were real strong and I was crying through a few of them. Don't get me wrong, they hurt...but I think it was more that I was exhausted and had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep Friday night and hadn't really slept since. So Micah and I decided on an epidural so we could get some sleep while I progressed.

Only I didn't progress and after a really upsetting conversation, that left me in tears, with the doctor on call (our doctor was off the clocks this weekend) we finally convinced him to let me go another hour before break my water. When my water was broken, but nothing really came out (our darling daughter was positioned in such a way that she was blocking the flow) and I progressed a centimeter in 2 hours, he ordered the pitocin.

Micah and I were dead set against the pitocin-unless it was an absolute emergency. We had had numerous talks with our ob about this...but we didn't have our ob delivering us so he didn't know about these conversations. And when I was trying to explain our feelings to him, he basically said we brought this on ourselves by getting an epidural.

But he is the medical professional, so we got pitocin. And it wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. Though the epidural wore off in my delivering area and, in spite of two more attempts to renumb the areas, it stayed that way until delivery.

Labor was a tough, tough process for me. I got about 4 hours of sleep from Friday morning until Campbell was delivered at 12:39 on Sunday. I can handle pain pretty well, I can't handle exhaustion. It amplified all the good things and hard things that happened. I struggled a great deal with not having the doctor who cared for us for the last 9 months deliver Campbell-I never thought it would be that hard. I struggled with having residents care for my body and being poked and prodded several times in similar ways so that they could gain field experience. I struggled veering from what we wanted originally-as simple as a labor as possible, in that minimal interventions would be used.

But here is the good news-I pushed for less than an hour. And towards the end, I even got to let the contractions do all the work. My body took to delivering a baby better than anticipated and damages were relatively minimal and minor. I never lost feeling in my legs and feet.

And Micah was absolutely amazing. Seriously, right after Campbell left my body I looked at him and felt that God had created him for two purposes in life...to be a husband and a father. He was so supportive, so loving, and just perfect during the whole process. The second he held Campbell she stopped crying. They love each other so much...and they've only known each other outside my womb for 9 hours!

Campbell is absolutely perfect. She didn't cry when she got her shots...she fussed a little when getting cleaned, but as soon as Micah took her she stopped. When I got to hold her, she just started at me. She is beautiful and loving. She latched on to nursing right away and by the 4th feeding she fed 15 minutes on each breast. We've attempted to do a feed, wake, sleep pattern with her in the 9 hours she's been outside the womb and she has taken to it...

Now I know that all these things can change. It's been 9 hours, though it feels like an eternity. But we are just about the most proud parents in God's good earth. Pictures don't do her justice.

I am writing this as I listen to Micah snore and watch Campbell sleep. I am excited to join in their slumber as well. We are blessed, blessed people-but the blessings seem to be shining a little brighter for us on this 19th day of July.

peace.

If this isn't America...

I am not a particularly patriotic person, I am grateful for where I was born and raised, but when I met Jesus I pledged my allegiance to Him-not a country or flag. But every once in a while I run across something that makes me uniquely proud to live in the USA. Last night it was this group of men.

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Adventures, part two

Before I let everyone into our hopes and dreams, a quick update...

Still 2 cm, but 75% effaced. If she still isn't here on guess date (7/20), we'll have an ultrasound to see how big she is and then go from there. :)

So, here's a little glimpse into our hearts...what we desire for this life God has given us together:

1) To listen to NPR as a family at breakfast every morning.
2) To watch PBS news in the evening before dinner.
3) To listen to vinyl records after the kids go to bed and share our days with each other.
4) For Micah to be able to work from home as a photographer so I can continue being a teacher.
5) To travel for missions work as a family in the summer.
6) To adopt as many children as we can afford and have a little rainbow family.
7) To, someday, run an orphanage together in an impoverished nation (retirement?).
8) To live simply.

So, that's a start. One of my major desires in finding a life mate was that the person had to have a heart for adoption. And God blessed that and provided Micah for me. We realize we don't even have one out of my belly yet, but our hearts continually come back to the children God has for us all over the world-maybe in Indianapolis or one of the US coasts, maybe Brazil, maybe Africa, maybe India...

God gave us each a heart for the nations that only grows stronger as my evangelical and compassionate nature combines with his intellectual, practical, and gentle nature.

peace.

Adventures

So, Micah and I saw the movie "Up" a few weeks ago. It was perfect. It was a great little story with cute and interesting characters. We both laughed, cried, and enjoyed our time experiencing the movie together.

We had several loving and tender moments throughout and after the movie (we're both kind of saps). Once all our tears were shed, we started talking about adventures and what kind of adventures we have had in the last 18 months and what kind of adventures we want to have in the future.

I just wanted to share a few with you and give you a little glimpse into our hearts a bit.

We both agree that the dogs have been a great adventure in the past year. We got Inu before we were married (which meant I had the joy of being a "single parent" for 2 months), but she has brought a great deal of life and joy into our lives. One of the most insightful moments for me was when we lost her. Micah stayed so strong for me because I felt like it was all my fault. He drove around the neighborhood relentlessly and eventually just lost it. It was the first (and one of the few times) I've seen him sob out of sadness.

Then our journey to getting her back (a whopping 15 hours later) was another adventure that involved phone calls on Christmas day, going out in our slippers and PJ's, running red lights, and hugs from strangers. :)

The adventure of Elmer and his bloody mess is another.

Other adventures have included incredibly late night talks, both online, in person, and on the phone. Being so tired the first month of our relationship is a complete blur, taking some of my students to a play, going to California for spring break, our drive up the 101, getting lost in Oakland (this one comes back in conversation often), the sewage explosion of '08, our absolutely perfect wedding, the naked dog fight, buying our first piece of furniture and then greatly regretting it, the jeep trip on our honeymoon, and finding out we're pregnant...to name a few.

We have a special box where we keep mementos to commemorate our adventures and it is surprisingly full already. :)

So, here's to many more boxes in the future!

peace.

PS I realized I didn't write about future adventures. Just know they involve adoption, travel, orphans, loving, and living somewhere that isn't the USA...sometime.

love.

Week 38

Yesterday was our week 38 appointment...and it was about the same as the week 37. I progressed just a teensy tiny bit, but for the most part am about the same. I have been spending some time thinking about what it means to be patient and constantly come back to the "Fruit of the Spirit" song I learned in Uganda.

I definitely do not invoke the natural spirit of patience, but I feel like I am learning a bit. I remember listening to a sermon a few years ago about patience. In the sermon Tim mentioned that patience best translates into "long suffering" as it is used in Galatians. He then talked about the his greatest bout of long suffering was when his wife was pregnant and they were waiting for their son to be born.

My initial response was, c'mon it's 9 months....it's not that bad.

But, oh, have a I learned...it is that bad. But God is good. And this has been a good experience to lean on Him. So I'm just trying to take it in for all it is worth, love Micah, and enjoy our little life.

I'm just ready to be able to bed down to pick things up off the floor again, without grunting.

peace.

fresh air

So, I've been stumbling through week 37 of pregnancy. My mother had both my brother and me in week 37. My grandma Shepherd had 18 kids (pretty sure they were all born at home as well), so she was pretty experienced in the birthing department as well. I figured/hoped I would be that lucky, to skip a few weeks of pregnancy and have it be easy.

And it might still be...but I'm tired of the wait. I think I would have been OK if our very conservative doctor would not have given my husband a playful nudge on the arm as he left the office last Monday and told him that he "better get ready."

I didn't mean anything against anyone in the last post. Micah and I have invited any reader of this blog, our family, our friends, and the entire facebook community into week 37 of being pregnant. But what that means is that people want to know what is going on, a very humbling and loving situation. And I am so excited and cheerful that people desire to be involved. It makes me feel very loved and cared for.

But it sucks when I don't have any news to give anyone.

-------------FRESH AIR---------------------------------

Today at church I was talking to a friend I initiated a gathering with over a month ago, but that gathering still hasn't happened. I apologized to her and caught her up to date on our appointment last Monday. I told her that I had been really careful all week about scheduling things because I am afraid of being out of the house if I do go into labor. And I finished up my monologue with how frustrating it is to take all these precautions and still have nothing happen.

She then provided me with a breath of fresh air. It was simple, but perfect.

Di told me that my body is getting ready to have a baby and the further along I progress without going into labor just indicates that labor will, most likely, be easier and shorter because I will be that much closer to being fully dilated when Miss Bell decides to grace us with her presence.

And it brought peace and comfort to my soul.

Though I still convinced Micah to go for a brisk walk with me this evening. He lovingly obliged, and after the dogs had done their duty, really enjoyed our trek into Broad Ripple.

It was a great way to celebrate our currently family on our one year anniversary.

peace&love.

doctors

So, we haven't had the greatest luck in the doctor department. Until recently, that is!

I've had a general practitioner who was fine, but her office staff was terrible-to the point where one of the nurses refused to call me "Carter" because it wasn't my given name on my birth certificate.

I had an OB that took over 3 and a half years to diagnose a very simple problem.

We had a vet that charged exorbitant fees for simple procedures.

But I feel like our luck with doctors is changing!

My OB was on maternity leave when we got pregnant, so we switched to someone else in the practice who has been AWESOME. We love him. He recommended us to a fabulous pediatrician. We got several recommendations for a GP in Broad Ripple who we met the other day and he was great as well.

It feels great to have wonderful doctors.

But there is one in particular that was the most difficult to decide upon-yes, even more difficult than the pediatrician.

Our veterinarian.

Dr. Doyle at Eastwood Animal Clinic is no ordinary vet. No, he is a swearing, straight talking, uses a person scale to weigh animals (he holds them while weighing himself), and wears his vet uniform from the 1970's kind of vet. An appointment is $38 plus $7 for each additional animal you bring with you. An appointment includes all medicines (minus shots) he may administer to your pet and all procedures.

But the best part is that he revealed the truth of Elmer.

Elmer is a normal, 9 year old dog. He has no major problems and will, most likely, need no major medical procedures. He also referred to Elmer as a Heinz 57 dog, with most likely a shepherd/hound mix of some kind to him.

So, $16 for ear wash and $1 per xanax pill later for Elmer and we have a healthy dog who looks to outlive us, potentially. We don't know whether to rejoice or to be a little overwhelmed. (Just kidding...kind of.)

In other news, I'm just trying to avoid thinking about Miss Bell's avoidance in making her appearance in this world.

And I hope I don't hear another person say that she'll come anytime when they hear that on Monday I was 2 centimeters dilated and half effaced. I promise I appreciate your observation and enthusiasm for the birth of our daughter, but I might just scream at the thought that she could come any moment and yet she isn't....

peace.

nesting (again)

Ever since we got the news Monday that the arrival is Miss Bell would be pretty soon, it's been interesting to see how 4538 Kingsley is reacting.

I find myself praying often...but not for noble and good things. Here is an example.

"Dear Lord, please let me be able to dust and sweep the bed room and wash the walls in the bedroom and living room before our daughter comes. Amen."

All I really want it to have a super clean house to come home to from the hospital. And I'm finding the progress I've made to be very helpful in achieving this goal (minus the dog hair and dust that comes with it). Cleaning has been relatively easy and keeping up on laundry the same.

Micah has taken it upon himself to actually settle into the house. The more we do to make it a livable space (turning the spare bedroom into a den, per se), the more we both believe that we could be here for a while. We've even had talks about finishing the bath in the basement and putting in a master bedroom and a play room. That would give us a good while longer in this home and space for a few more children.

Micah has been a superstar the past couple days (with the help of Bill and Evan). Monday's appointment, I think, kicked him into gear a little.

On the other hand, the dogs have been reacting in their own way as well. We have taught them to stay out of the nursery (though Inu is still a little suspect-but no longer takes toys at least) and trained them to sleep in the den (which doesn't help with the dog hair issue, but at least they are no longer in our room). But Inu has been "nesting" in her own way.

For instance, as I type this, she has pulled the couch cover off of the loveseat in the den into the hallway and gathered it into a ball. It's taken her about 20 minutes to accomplish this.

Elmer, on the other hand, has just taken to sleeping more often than normal. Though usually he is interrupted by Inu as she pulls whatever his bed is out from under him.

So, things are going well in the Bell house...and I'm on my way to dusting, sweeping, and cleaning walls!

peace.