on being interesting

So Micah and I have been talking quite a bit about my post on being interesting. Micah has been so incredibly supportive about how I'm feeling...he is just an amazing husband, father, and man.

Our house church makes sack lunches for the Pourhouse (www.pourhouse.org) on the 4th Sunday of every month. We've been doing this for a year or so and our amazing friends the Wilsmans decided it was time that we partake in community with the people we serve once a month.

I was having a particularly difficult day on Sunday and feeling very anxious. I had been trying to get out of serving meals with the hopes of sitting around and watching TV, but Micah thought about my pleas and determined that we would go serve meals because "it would make me more interesting."

He was right.

We took the cutest crying baby ever (other people's words, not mine) and went down to the veterans memorial in downtown Indy. We strapped her onto myself with the Baby Bjorn and let Campbell work her magic!

Babies are the best conversation starter ever. All we had to do was stand in front of the steps where people were sitting and waiting for their meal and James came to us. He fawned over our darling girl for a few moment and then we started talking. He and Micah hit is off pretty well and I struck up a conversation with a couple walking by. Well, actually they approached us with the question, "Is this baby homeless?" :)

We met lots of people...a woman and her boyfriend who had been trying to get pregnant for years and were now past their first trimester, a man reading Plato for leisurely reading, a father who had a wallet full of pictures of his children and could not be more proud...and we loved them to the best of our abilities. Campbell smiled and cooed and worked her charm. We did our best to not judge, but to care and show respect.

It's difficult, but we strive. We love. We do our best to turn to Jesus and just be.

peace.

pictures

Here are some pictures taken recently. (Spoiler: the final picture is NOT for the faint of heart...) The first picture is Micah reading to Campbell! She loves being read to and has started "reading" back to us!


Check out her double chin and first pair of jeans! She looks like such a big girl! I get teary eyed about how quickly she is growing! I remember scoffing at a person who was dropping off their daughter in the nursery and tearing up because her daughter was 6 months old, but now I totally understand! I am so thankful that I get to be home so much in Campbell's first year of life!


This is a (blurry) shot of the pouting game she loves so much! About one second after this picture was taken she smiled at me.

And now for the gross picture...seriously, if you can't handle poo scroll away now!







(Pardon the baby bottom...)

This is Campbell's finest masterpiece. She did this for us a few weeks ago...hard to believe that tiny bottom can cause such a mess! But, oh! She is a pro!

I believe this happened around 5:30 in the morning. I was changing her diaper inbetween sides when I noticed something on her bottom. It looked like part of a wipe had gotten caught between her cheeks. When I went to wipe it off, she shot poo not only all over the changing table but all over my hand and arm! I screamed and Micah came running. He manned holding her legs while I went to wash my hand. Then I heard him shout! I came running back to this...she had sprayed not only onto the receiving blanket, but also on the side of the shelving unit...amazing.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

peace.

Cars, Coffee, and Campbell

*My car may officially be retired. It's true. I'm pretty disappointed in Nissan. My 2000 Altima only had 120,000 miles on it. Seriously? When did properly maintained cars only start lasting 10 years? That's pretty pathetic. Another "Seriously?" Why do people think they can charge $2000 for cars from the '80's? Though I did find a woody wagon that hold 9 people that was pretty exciting.

*We probably won't get another car until January. Woot for the one car family! Kind of... Parts of me are excited. It's a chance to really clean and organize the house (instead of moving our mess from room to room). It's an opportunity to read the Buffy the Vampire Slayer comics (laugh all you want, Joss Whedon is a genius!) that Micah got me for Christmas last year. I can hone my photography skills on our beautiful daughter. I can start the Bible study I bought and planned to do over the summer. I can bake! I can rediscover some of the parts of myself that I miss. Micah even mentioned starting to put documentaries back onto the Blockbuster queue.

*I am going to start running a FREE coffee house from our home. Not really anything fancy, but I'm excited none the less. People who come by to visit will have many choices of tea, chai, hot chocolate, and freshly pressed coffee to choose from. Plus it will be a good way to unload my baked goods and show off a clean and charming (but probably slightly disorganized) home.

*We will save a few bucks by only having one car to put gas into and pay insurance on...insurance south of 52nd St. in Indy is kind of expensive.

*Campbell has started pouting. It's hilarious. Today she would laugh and follow it up with a pout. Then I would say her name and she would look at me and smile. I don't know if she is playing or just forgets why she is pouting when I say her name, but either way it's hilarious. And a good indicator that at a mere 2 months she is learning to work the system.

*peace.

connection

i am typing this with campbell in the crook of my left arm. she is babbling, discovering her hands (by putting them obsessively into her mouth), and occasionally throwing a fit. her temp. has been 99.7 the past 24 hours, so not on the definite fever side, but still higher than normal. i'm just waiting for the tylenol to do its thang.

i ran across my old blog yesterday. my first thought when reading some of the entries was, "i used to be so interesting!" there was something very sobering about that being my initial reaction. why don't i feel interesting anymore? i'm essentially the same person i was...though my packaging is slightly different than it used to be. having a baby changes your body quite a bit.

i used to be so connected. and i miss it. i used to spend hours pouring over music on itunes and at luna and the library. i knew the indie underground. i went to concerts. i had opinions, and most importantly i could support those opinions.

i knew what was going on in east africa. i read the bbc news website. i listened to npr. i was an advocate and strove to give the voiceless a voice. i dreamt of having a little rainbow family.

i went to the y and out to coffee with friends. i went to my students' performances outside of school.

i found great joy in trying to live as minimally as possible. i pined for Jesus to tell me to sell everything so i could follow him. i wanted to quit my job and live in a pop up trailer so i could travel and love people like Jesus. i was so connected to my faith.

now all i hear from God is "I miss you."

i really want to finish this post with something sweet like: but with my sweet girl sleeping in the crook of my left arm i wouldn't trade this for anything.

but it's not true. i love micah and firmly believe he is the most amazing gift from God. i love my daughter, she's amazing. but i miss being connected to the Lord. i miss being advocate. i miss having conversations with people and being passionate.

but i am grateful for this little life. i miss the life i was living in my old blog, but i am still thankful. my hope is just that i become interesting again.

peace.

Our BIG girl!

Our baby girl is getting SO BIG! I seriously can't believe how much she is a full fledged baby now and not a teeny newborn anymore! She holds her head up on her own, she laughs and smiles a ton, and she loves to "talk."

These are all huge rewards for me! I love Campbell, but the first 6 weeks were tough. Lots of tears from both of us...on top of her fits (plus a couple of my own). So it is amazing to have some kind of response from her other than a nap. She is starting to respond and be teachable in a way that is apparent.

We had her 2 month appointment today. :) She was 11 pounds, 14 ounces and 24.5 inches long! That puts her in the 70th percentile for weight and 90th (!!) percentile for height! She has outgrown most of her 3 month clothing, so we have already had to switch her into 6 month clothes! I can't wait for her grandparents to see her next week! If I am able to see how big she has gotten, they will really notice.

Below is a photo we took when she was just 10 (or so) days old...she was so tiny then... :)

peace.

marriage

When most people get married I expect their first thought isn't "when will we get divorced?" Really, while we all know divorce exists most think they are exempt.

My parents divorced when I was in high school then got remarried 2 years ago. My dad was married to my sisters' mom before that. My brother is in the midst of a divorce that is crazier than a soap opera. And, recently, I have found that a handful of my friends are in the midst of divorces themselves.

And it's my friends' divorces that have hit home. The divorces in my family were evident in their coming. But the divorces in my friends' lives have caught me a bit off guard. Especially since they still love their soon-to-be ex-spouse.

I am not writing this to judge, not in the least bit, but to realize that life is fleeting. And no matter how much Micah and I say that divorce isn't an option (which we firmly believe), marriage is work. Regardless of how blissful it is currently, any moment can be invading in the destruction of this bliss.

Doom and gloom aside, I write this as a reminder that Micah and I need keep the communication open and honest. We must continue to share ourselves with each other-emotionally, intellectually, physically. This is made none easier by our beautiful daughter. We must cloak ourselves in prayer and not to forget to pray together. We are not immune.

We work really hard to have an easy marriage. :)

peace.

This is the life...

God is good. Actually, way better than good...

Campbell is just beautiful. (I've been trying to post pictures, but it hasn't been working, silly blogger.) Her doctor took me off all milk and milk products and she turned into this happy, smiley, independent baby. She loves to hang in her swing, she smiles and "talks." She actually played in her crib for an hour the other day while I slept in until 9:20! She's a perfect little baby.

Her new appreciation of the swing has allowed me to visit a past love-baking! Our kitchen doesn't allow extravagant adventures, but it is just nice to mix things and use the oven again. I've made a cake (with homemade icing!), brownies, and am making a dinner for a family today (breakfast for dinner!).

Finally, what makes this the life is how much other people love Campbell. Especially one little Moses.

Moses is our friends, the Brileys (thebrileys.blogspot.com), little boy. He is almost a year old and is about the cutest baby EVER. Julie is an amazing mom and has taught him so much, including how to kiss. :) He will pucker up his lips if he wants a kiss, it is adorable.

Last night at house church, Moses really wanted our friend Jillian (inhislovehewillbesilent.blogspot.com) to kiss him, but we were trying to get him to crawl to her for a kiss. Micah handed me Campbell during this, and Moses crawled over to baby Campbell and puckered his lips! I put her on the floor and he leaned in and kissed her cheek! It was super cute and I hope to get a picture of it someday.

Daddy is sad he missed seeing Campbell get her first kiss from a boy. But he also has decided Moses is the only boy (other than himself) who can kiss Campbell-and only on the cheek. Any other boy needs to wait until she is 24.

peace.

baby steps

Don't let the title of this blog mislead you...Campbell may be advanced in our eyes, but she isn't walking just yet. (Though, if she is mad, you can hold her up and she will mimic the motion of walking...it's kind of freaky but totally normal, according to the baby books Micah reads at least.)

I am taking baby steps.

We left her with a bottle with Grammie and Grampa last weekend and went on a date. We went to the outlets and bought Micah a wedding photographer outfit (he has 2 wedding in the next month!) and then we went to dinner-where the restaurant had decided to change their amazing deep-fried breadsticks to mediocre oven baked ones. Afterwards we tried to do lots of things that were closed because we were in Angola, Indiana where nothing is open past 9.

But it didn't matter, because we were by ourselves for 4 glorious hours.

And we were ready to see her again by the end of those 4 hours.

When we left the house, I kissed her and told her that mommy and daddy need to just leave and be by themselves sometimes so we can be better parents for her.

I am taking baby steps.

We left her in the nursery today at church. She may be the youngest baby to have ever be dropped off in the nursery. But Micah was ready and I was pretty ready. I only had to go check on her once. And she was asleep when I did.

While in the nursery, her friend Moses Briley scooted to her to say "hi!" We know Moses from house church. I am happy she has such a good friend at only 8 weeks old! After she and Moses interacted a bit, she fell asleep.

While Campbell was in the nursery, Micah and I had the best worship experience we've had in lots of months. It was so amazing. And as hard as it was to leave her in very capable, kind hands, it was wonderful to sit in the front row again and be engaged in worship and teaching.

I am taking baby steps.

peace.